Thursday, May 17, 2012

Not Having a Personal Assistant

Not having a personal assistant, privy to my every whim, is a good thing because otherwise, without time to process my thoughts, every stupid idea would be a wish automatically fulfilled. You would then see me strung out in a gutter, fetal position, talking to non-existent chipmunks and inventing new languages. Or naked in the alps, rolling in mud, falling in love with bears. Or tied to an extended diamond cross while an elderly woman whips me and spits in my face. Yes, it is a good thing I do not have a personal assistant because, if I did, instead of writing this, I'd be summoning my old self from that welcomed grave.

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